A Stranger In My Own Home

A Stranger In My Own Home by @MandyJHoffmanYawning, I pawed through my cosmetic travel bag trying to get my fingers on the tube of lip balm.  Finally, I spotted it at the bottom, hidden under the mascara.  Reaching for a washcloth to wash the make-up off my face, my hand hit empty space rather than the normal basket of caramel colored cloths.  I turned to dig through the cardboard box behind me where earlier they had been dumped.  A few moments later I walked into our bedroom where I grabbed a pair of pajamas from the dresser top instead of from within the drawers.  Pulling them on, I padded across the floor to my side of our bed where it seemed quite spacious without a night stand.  Instead, there were six clothing rolls lined up along the baseboard – two sets for each of my kids for the next two days.  I plopped into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin as I let out a frustrated sigh.

“I feel like a stranger in my own home!”

The tired tears slipped down my cheeks.  My mind rehearsed how Justin and I had taken this beaten up old house and made it into a home.  We tenderly loved it back into function and beauty.  We created this place and now I felt like a stranger – a temporary traveler – due to everything being packed and ready to be loaded up in less than forty-eight hours.

In that moment of earthly frustration, the Holy Spirit silently slipped a thought into my churning mind: “Jesus knows.”

It was like the hurdling train of my thoughts, speedily headed towards the location of self-pity, slammed into the broad side of a rocky mountain.  My frustration halted as my mind was filled with thoughts of what it must have been like for Jesus to come to earth – the very “home” He created for us – and be treated with cool reserve as a stranger in His own place.

Again the Holy Spirit replaced truth for the decaying thoughts of my human mind.  “This is temporary.  THIS is NOT your real home.  You ARE a stranger here.  This all is just momentary until you get HOME to Heaven where you will stay forever!  No more packing boxes.  No more handing over the keys.”

Jesus Christ is my “Home”.  My mind (heart) rests in Him.  Having a warm structure surround my earthly body is a privilege, not a right that I somehow deserve.  I deserve condemnation, death, hell, and destruction.  But because of Jesus opening my eyes to God’s grace I now have peace, life, heaven, and abundant hope!  While I may feel unsettled at times here in whatever days I walk this dusty earth, that is not a mistake, not a wrong thing – it is for my good!  It draws my thoughts to HIM and to the fact that this is NOT MY HOME!  I am a stranger in this land and that it is good, acceptable, and perfectly planned by my Heavenly Father!

Probably only two minutes had gone by, but this time as I lay there in my bed staring up at the still ceiling fan, I breathed a joy-filled sigh:

“I feel like a stranger in my own home!”

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