They sporadically roll down my cheeks just as crunchy autumn leaves aimlessly drop to the ground in random spurts. It does not take much – just a light breeze of emotion – and they quietly trickle from the corners of my eyes.
One moment they are wet drops of grief as I think about leaving my cozy, perfectly personalized home for the rambling, beige palate called a rental house. The next moment those hot, salty drops spill over out of gratitude when I find that a casual acquaintance has generously gone out and bought us a stack of brand new boxes and packing supplies from Uhaul. Then they swing back to sadness as I pull in the driveway and realize I only have three weeks left living in this town…in this state. Moments later the tears come hard and fast in joy-filled thankfulness as I re-account to my husband how some family members and a new friend (who I had never met before that morning) gave up hours of their day to help me clean the house we will be soon calling “home”.
As I swing back and forth on the pendulum of emotions in this huge transition time for our family, my heart cries out to God:
“Please let my emotions draw me to You!”
God created emotions, He gave these feelings to me, but rather then let them drive what I do and how I respond to everyone my heart desires to glorify God in the highs and the in lows. I can not do it. I need Jesus and the power of His resurrection to work in my life to desire to draw near to God. So my prayer is pretty simple today…and tomorrow…and the day after that…
“Father, use these tears – whether sadness, happiness, thankfulness, or grief – to draw my heart to You.”