This morning I made my current favorite hot drink – Café Mocha – and sunk into my big blue chair to “do the do”.  You know, do the right thing….check my devotional time off my to-do list for the day.

I opened up my laptop and began to read today’s scripture passage on my Online Quiet Time Diary account and as I read the light bulb came on and the bells and whistles began to sound off – it was an “Aha! Moment”.

Today’s passage was 1 Timothy 6:1-8:

“1 All who are under the yoke as slaves are to regard their own masters as worthy of all honor so that the name of God and our doctrine will not be spoken against. 2 Those who have believers as their masters must not be disrespectful to them because they are brethren, but must serve them all the more, because those who partake of the benefit are believers and beloved. Teach and preach these principles.

3 If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, 5 and constant friction between men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. 6But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. 7 For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. 8 If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content..”

It was verse 6 that jumped off the page and arrested my attention.

I continually strive for growth in my relationship with Christ.

I read the Bible.

I pray.

I go to church.

I read extensively to learn more about Him and how to obey Him.

I spend time evaluating my life and examining my spiritual growth.

I reach for godliness.

I beg Him for godliness in my life.

I even pursue a gospel centered life and daily endeavor to focus and apply the gospel to my life moment by moment.

And this is why verse 6 made me freeze in my seat this morning.  While I am busy striving for godliness in my life I have left contentment behind.

Oh sure…I look around my home and evaluate my contentment with what I own.  I almost routinely go through my cupboards, closets, and bins and give away any duplicates and extras we own in order to help us be content with simplicity.

But this is where its becomes absolutely ironic.  In my pursuit of godliness and contentment I am not content with my growth.  Instead I see a whole list of things that need to change, be fixed, gotten rid of, have the rough edges sanded smooth….and my heart beats faster and my soul rises in discontentment.  I want my life, my husband, my children, my ministry to be better!!!  I am frustrated because I should be so much more godly than I am!

And here is where I sit.

Stuck in the mud of trying to grow in godliness while not allowing contentment to grab hold and get me out of this hole I dug.  I check things off my to-do list as fast as I can rather than enjoy the process of growth and celebrate each milestone of God’s grace in my life.  I lust for more rather than worship Him for what He has done and what Philippians 1:6 tells me He will do.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus”

So this is my “Aha! Moment”.  I need to embrace my growth with vigor AND contentment, trusting in His perfect timing…fixing [my] eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God”. (Hebrews 12:2)

And now I am declaring this a day to celebrate God’s goodness and work in my life and trust HIM – not my own striving – to continue the good work.

Will you join me in walking this walk with contentment as our companion?

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